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Sir Edric and the Vampire Lord

4/19/2014

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“So, let me get this right,” Sir Edric said to the visiting priest. “You’re being terrorised by a giant albino lagomorph that appears at the same time every year? And you want me to kill the aforementioned magical vermin?”

Dog coughed. “Actually, sir, it sounds like the Easter Bunny is more of a benevolent spirit.”

“Indeed,” Father Michael agreed. “He’s more of a fun character for children. The real message of Easter is about Jesus-”

“He’s the vampire, yes?”

Father Michael sighed. “No, Sir Edric. He is the Son of God-”

“I thought you said he was a carpenter?”

The priest cast his eyes to the heavens and mouthed a silent prayer. “Jesus was the Son of God. He was killed and lay for three days before rising from the dead, when he spoke again to his followers and then passed from our sight.”

Sir Edric nodded knowingly. “Definitely a vampire. So, you want me to kill Jesus?”

Father Michael was silent for a moment, clenching his jaw so hard his muscles bulged. “No, Sir Edric. I do not want you to kill Jesus. Or the Easter Bunny. I’m simply here to spread the message of Our Lord, to speak of his rising from the dead and the triumph of hope over despair, of life everlasting and-”

Sir Edric raised a hand to cut off the priest’s prattling. “That’s riveting. So, beyond preaching, is there any reason you’re here?”

The priest sighed again, and raised a large basket he was carrying. “I’ve also brought a large number of Easter eggs for the children of Awyndel.”

The knight frowned. “What do eggs have to do with vampires?”

Father Michael took a moment to answer. “It’s just a fun tradition to give one another, especially children, chocolate eggs to eat at this time of year.”

“What a splendid notion,” Sir Edric agreed. “Dog and I were just on our way to the orphanage. Why don’t we take your eggs with us?”

“I wouldn’t want to trouble you-”

Sir Edric beamed a smile. “No trouble at all, Father Michael. I shall be sure to help spread the word of the vampire lord Jesus and his infernal albino rabbit beast. Dog shall see you out.”

Once his manservant had escorted the cleric from his home, Sir Edric began to tuck into the huge quantity of Easter eggs. In the spirit of the occasion he selected one of the smaller ones for Dog and raised a glass of wine in a toast.

“Huzzah for Jesus, the undead master of the dread rabbit!”




Thaddeus
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    About Me
    I've always loved reading
    and writing, particularly fantasy and classical history. I'm also quite into F1 and politics and have no idea why this section is double-spaced.

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